The Truth Flees Incongruence
Being completely congruent, even if wrong, at least is being honest.
Congruence is power. It's devoid of morality (one can be congruently immoral) so it can't stand alone.
Within its own context, contains truth.
Arguably, the truth often holds a paradoxical tension. Navigating this well while steering towards the truth north tests leadership and vision.
But I think regular, frequent incongruence drives out the truth.
What's the difference between incongruence and paradox?
Incongruence is the unwitting, unconscious, or ignorant maintaining of different points of view. It's the one who blows to and fro, whatever the direction of the wind blow.
Paradox is a steely discomfort with conflicting choices and trade-offs, but still piercing through them to find the line in the sand.
One is swayed to the point of nonsense.
The other squints in the storm, wind, and rain to find the throughline to the shore.
Incongruence chases opportunities, fads, and is buffered by popular opinion. It has no internal compass.
The most important form of congruence a leader can hold is within their own values, words, actions, and thought. Incongruence allows these to change on whatever whim.
Sometimes the incongruence is so uncomfortable, one lashes out when being called on it or vaguely questioned. This behavior signals, "No Truth Telling Allowed."
One of the reasons that I frame conversations with leaders around their words, actions, and thoughts is to make sure all those things point in the same direction.
The worst thing they can do is to be a leader with twenty arms pointing in different directions.
A strategy which doesn't have a strong, solid underpining of values, beliefs, worldview, and honest sense of capabilities and weaknesses will be fickle.
How to be a more congruent leader
1. Have a truth teller in your life
The reason we use a GPS is it's helpful to be told when one's going in the wrong direction.
I play this role for leaders. It's cleaner, simpler, and practiced.
But if not me, then someone must be willing to do this.
Note: this isn't the same as someone giving you their opinion or telling you you are full of shit.
It's actually a case of connecting the various dots you provide and showing that they draw a circle, or go off in disparate, directions.
This is truth telling that shows your incongruence.
2. Think for yourself
Why is it that politicians most often come across as incongruent liars?
Because they do seem to flip-flop based on opinion polls and behind-the-scene expediency.
They aren't thinking for themselves from a set of foundational principles or beliefs.
Instead, they are constantly testing the winds. They are repurposing the ideas of other people and repackaging them, without the underlying depth.
3. Go on record
Leaders who deep down know that they are incongruent will give their strongly stated opinions in forums where they can't get called on it.
But congruence is willing to be put in writing, out in the open.
It's much scarier to do this, because now if you waver, you can be proven wrong.
You could give yourself a get out of jail card if you're CEO (I'm CEO, I'm allowed to be wrong); and consistency for its own sake is a flaw.
But going on record quickens the mind: it's harder to be glib and political when you're staking your name to something.
4. Be clear with examples
I have found the hardest leaders aren't willing to go on record and lead through examples.
Everything is by proxy.
Often by proxy of other people's opinions to find popular opinion.
There's a difference between trusting your close lieutenants (this is typically a good thing) and trying to find social consensus of whomever you trust that day.
But examples will give weight and clarity if they are good; they will reveal holes when they are not.
Examples are where your arguments and line of thinking will ultimately meet the road.
Examples are a way to stress test your principles and definitions.
5. Surround yourself with congruent people
In the end, if the other people around you are reinforcing the notion of congruence, not a congruent notion of your opinion, then it's easier to achieve this state.
Even if they don't directly correct you when you fear, the truth will find its way forward and you need to be more forceful to push it away if everyone else tries to be congruent.
Hiring congruent people, versus those who seek to please you, will help you to find the truth.
The truth is most valuable because it's usually the way forward.
It's the way most likely path if such a path exists towards your company's best outcome.
There may not be a guarantee, because even the most likely and truth path may still only have a 1% chance of success.
But it's still the best outcome.